I wouldn’t want to see myself in situations that will feel like déjà vu.

It seems inevitable that each one of us will at some time in our lives, be touched by the painful experience of a shattered dream. Some people may hold on to a fading dream with tenacious passion, until one day that dream lies broken in jagged pieces at our feet..... Similar is the situation with me, yet again. Gone now is my dream, with only the memory of what could have been.

Tragedy touches everyone. Shattered dreams are real and they can leave a person devastated and broken. But one fine day, I happened to come across this quote “at the end of the day we must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope”. And that was it. I started hoping again and took all the courage to dream only to feel dejected yet again. 

Often attempts are made to understand why things don’t work out the way we wanted them to only to end up blaming God for leading us to despair all the time.

But I’ve had enough of these sessions. I now see that my plans have very little to do with anything other than needing to have greater certainty. Uncertainty is the key to dismay, be it uncertainly within you or with people around you.  So here is the convoluted mess I have gotten myself in; I make plans that result in a success that will validate my insecurities, but when the plan doesn’t come to fruition or I find that I don’t feel any more validated, all I do is try to understand why God has allowed my noble plans to fail. And rather than seeing it as an opportunity (of getting something better), I layer it with some form of other certainty that will provide immediate relief, but all that I am really doing is working against my real goal.

So rather than wasting my time and energy in understanding my shattered dream, I am now trying to learn from them in the hope that I will someday develop the courage to simply BE ME(whatever that means).

With that I mean that unlike the other times, I will definitely mourn over the shattered dream. From my recent experience I have learnt that sometimes we really have to mourn over a loss. So when a dream dies, it takes with it all the time, energy, and emotion we invested into it over weeks, months and years. I have decided to take my own time and allow the crushed emotions to heal so that I can retaliate well.

Another major mistake I’ve been committing is by getting over the shattered dream sooner than usual and thus rushing to the next. At times, we may tend to feel that we need to move on quickly, sooner, the better would it be. But amidst this quick transition, we fail to give time to look back and think about what made it go wrong the last time. Now that I’ve mourned over a shattered dream and also given myself enough time, I will now embrace a new dream because I do  not want to suppress my vision for my life. 

 I dont’t want to see myself in situations that will feel like déjà vu.