She is the one who loves you the most- Love her back!

One saying which I strongly believe is that “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” .. The mother’s touch.. Nothing can replace a mother’s touch. The touch of a gentle hand that is placed on our foreheads when we are down with fever, Vicks swiped across our tiny nose when we have cold, the anxiety they have until we return back home from a late night party or a hand that reaches out to us when we cross the street.. When things are not going right in her child’s life, nobody else will bother but the mother will always be worried. She will have a fear of unknown which we misinterpret as possessiveness.  We all have noticed this.. We all know that our mother does this for us, but most of the times we bury these thoughts in the back of our minds and as we grow up we tend to replace these with the new ones without even looking back and appreciating all that our mother has done for us.

I looked into a mother’s eyes and I could see her remembering all the good times she once had with her beloved daughter. She tries to look forward but her mind goes back.. she wants to know where she went wrong.. She wanted a way to fix this… she wanted to fix this broken glass and she tries hard.. she tries hard to protect it from shattering because for her all that matters to her is her daughter alone for she is her love, the love of her life, she is her family.. the very reason for her existence but all she gets is being blamed all the time..

No matter what our mom say or do, we feel that she can never seem to do right. What is most hurtful is that we start blaming her for everything wrong in our life since we are unable or unwilling to take the responsibility for our actions or consequences. We children often do it to our mom’s. It happens to mom’s all over the world. We fail to understand the battles that she is been battling and we tend to make such harsh accusations on her causing her tremendous amount of pain. We expect them to be perfect when we are nowhere near to it.

Mom’s never proclaim themselves as the best mom’s because they feel that they have failed everytime we cry..  they never want us to cry and whenever we did, their eyes too would be moist and still she tries to be strong just for us. That’s the love she has for us and she only hopes that we too feel that love for her, we too will adore her completely, we too shall love her at last…

We children are no less than knives because we may not really mean to cut, but eventually all we do is CUT.. but our mother still cling on to us. That is the love of a mother. We definitely cannot give her all that she has given us, but we can atleast love her in return…Not all mothers are the same. Some are the kissing mothers and others are the scolding mothers but the love that they shower on us is just the same. The unconditional love..! She is the one who loves you the most- Love her back!
Love and respect your mom when she is there... because once she is gone, you are over...

We Tend to Accept What We Think We Deserve!

Trrrrriiiiiingggg…. “Hello” , I said picking up the call from this unknown number. There was a lot of noise in there, and I was quite very sure the person at the other end could barely hear me speak. I screamed out my throat and said “helllloooo”, and I heard a bare shaky voice, hardly able to utter a word.. I was numb for a while and I thought I should just give some time to her..

I couldn’t really understand what was wrong, amidst this silent conversation, I now knew that there was something wrong. After about a min the voice continued, still shivering she said “ all the painful things what he did to me, I thought I will surely do to someone else, just because I can enjoy the feelings he had after putting me into that shit, but who knew that I would fall into this whole shit again”. I was startled, and before I could utter a word the voice continued.. now a little sturdy than before.. “Everything was shattered and I didn’t want to collect those broken pieces of my heart. I thought I was getting over him .. but it was more like my perception and not the hard core reality. I just had tamed my heart and mind in that way”.. and the voice paused.. I did nothing but acknowledged with a hmmmm..

There was silence like never before, and in a matter of few seconds, the silence was broken with all the weeping and wailing.. she started to read out a letter which she found in her closet.

“My love,

We surely did go through a lot in our  years of togetherness. The courting stage and spending every moment together. I driving all the way till your house just to spend five mins or just to get a glimpse of you.. and to exchange smiles.. Every time I pass through that street, I cant tell you the extent to which I miss you. How you used to make me wait there for hours and then finally you arrive, giving some vague reasons and no matter how angry I would be, that made me smile. Damn, you knew every trick to bring a smile on my face!

But the fights we had were the worst. I loved you so much. Seeing you angry at me, for every single thing, hurt me real bad. I was being shattered every single day. I’m angry at myself for failing to change because I still wait to feel you in my arms again. Through all the bad things we faced, we certainly did have some wonderful times though. We made the best of every moment.

When we broke up, I said it was because I saw what we were doing to each other. The pain I was causing you and pain you were giving me, I wanted it all to stop, because I loved you enough to do that. I can see now that I love you enough to do anything to stop that pain. Instead of letting me go I wish you could have stopped doing things that hurt me and we could be together. I was looking for peace and serenity and when i realized it was no more there, I feared that you wouldn’t love me.

Well, it had to be about me someday.. you have torn my life apart..it was loving you and feeling betrayed, feeling like I poured my heart out for you, begging you to be there, but you never cared. Ive now learnt to live, half-alive, so i don’t want you to come back for me.. Don’t come back at all.. I know we can never be together.. but this is killing me. God, I miss you so much, even if it means we can never be together.

-Love, as always,

Your Love”

And she burst into tears. I could hear her sobbing and I was absolutely clueless on what I could do.. wish i could just give her a tight hug.. I could feel the pain she was going through and I wept along with her. She paused for a while. There was silence again.

She asked me “why nice people choose to love the wrong people?”, why do i choose to love people who treat me like nothing.. and I said “Because we tend to accept love, we think we deserve!.. most of the times, forgetting we deserve a lot better” .

This was the first sentence I spoke in the whole 30 min call. The very instant at which I completed my sentence, the voice at the other end said “hello”.., this time it was more like a confused one. . Only then did she realize that all this while she opened the pages of her life to a complete stranger. It was then she realized that it was a wrong number! and before i could say something,, she hung up..!

It will never happen again.! ( I think so..) :)

I knew this girl, but I always chose to remain away from her, for she had weird group of people lingering around her, and honestly, she had a real peculiar style of laughing. It was during the final year of engineering, I happened to get formally introduced to her through my childhood friend.

I then, dunno how, we happened to meet again. I still remember the day, I first went near her house to pick her. That was the first time she sat with me on my vehicle. (Lucky girl, from then she is been getting this opportunity to enjoy the activa rides!). I think, I said, god.. your roads are terrible. Man,. It was so damn dusty! We even planned a birthday for our friend together. we went shopping for the gift and to my surprise she actually considered my opinion. From then, she was officially my friend.  

Days rolled by, and the bonding became even more intense. We met every single day. We started going for walks to the stadium, every day to lose those extra kilos she had and still continues to have. ( and poor me, I had to walk along with her)

I still remember the day when I said, see there goes an aircraft up in the sky, and she looks up and sees it and says.. wow! Can u believe it.. :P

But, let me cut this crap now and come to the point. That’s how she wants me to be now. Huh!Techie.. no time to even take a chill pill and ends up taking all her frustrations on poor people who love her like mad, and that makes me the worst affected.

Where do I even begin? I suppose saying “I’m sorry” is a start.

I’m sorry.

Looking back, I can’t believe that I repeated the same mistake, yet again. (ok, I know ull ask me to tell what my mistake is. “yes, I didn’t pick ur call, and its not the first time Im doing this)

But I suppose hindsight is always 20/20. I am stupid and I wasn’t the friend that you expected me to be. Even if I explain my actions, it still doesn’t justify that I do some pretty hurtful things. I hope you can forgive me for what I did and put this matter behind us. I treasure our friendship and all the things we’ve done and been through. And hopefully, what transpired can become one of those incidents that make our bond stronger than ever.  If you have anything on your mind regarding this, please feel free to share it. I promise to listen to all your repeated scolding’s, before I speak. ( Although, I am tired. Please pick new words this time.. :P) It’s the least I could do if you’re willing to forgive me. You know how to contact me.

Till date I do not know why we are even friends! I love you Boddi..